Danger: Angry feminist rant ahead!
Me: I’m so tired of women being bad at everything. A disproportionate amount of women go to college compared to men yet the CEO positions are predominantly male.
My friend: I know! It’s annoying. And we are forced to choose between having children and going to work.
Me: If women stopped beating each other down and gossiping about other women then maybe we would have time to be more successful.
My friend: Yeah . . . should we read that trashy magazine now?
Me: Yes! . . . God look how terrible she looks, what a train wreck.
This is a question that I have been asking a lot. Obviously I do not mean that women are bad at everything. Just the opposite, I think that they are better at most things compared to men but they are almost never on top. I recently saw a commercial with all the people who designed the most used electronics and apps, like the camera phone and Words with Friends. Every single one of them were male. Even in a field that is studied primarily by women, like fashion design, the ones on top or the “rockstars,” are almost all men. Yes, yes I know, there are many female designers but there are hardly any that did not inherit their label or were not somehow famous before. Versace inherited her line from her brother, Prada from her grandfather. As a graphic designer, it is discouraging to me that there are hardly any rockstar graphic designers. Marian Bantjes and Paula Scher are the only I can think of.
The worst part is most people don’t even acknowledge there is a problem. But the fact is that women still make less than a man makes for doing the EXACT SAME JOB. I know you have heard this a million times before but think about what those words mean exactly. The numbers are worse for mothers, and worse still for single mothers, making 55 cents to every dollar a man does. (These statistics vary greatly depending on where you look. In 1991, non-mothers with an average age of thirty made 90 cents to a man’s dollar, while moms made 73 cents to the dollar, and single moms made 55 cents according to Jane Waldfogel in “Understanding the ‘Family Gap’ in Pay for Women and Children,” Journal of Economic Perspectives. This is a great article by the US Department of Labor about some myths regarding this often-referred-to statistic.)
Why is this?
I have brainstormed some reasons why men are consistently more successful professionally than women:
1. The first and by far most important: men are more cocky.
No, Freud. It is not that I envy the schlong . . . much. For some reason, men always have a self assurance that make people believe in their abilities. Many times I find when women present ideas, they sound unsure about it. They say, “I think we can maybe do it like this . . .” This does not inspire confidence. Sure, a lot of times men fail and when they fail, they fail hard like Hitler or Vanilla Ice.
But their confidence, not their ideas, is what persuaded people to kill Jews and listen to bad music. And look at Jeopardy. There are rarely any women. When there are women, they rarely win. Do we really believe it is because women are not as smart? It is because men are cocky enough to push that stupid buzzer even if they don’t know the answer right away. When women do have this confidence, not only is it not respected but it makes them seem demanding and shrill. There was a study (I can’t find it now but I’ll look for it again) where a woman and a man were bosses to two different groups of people. They dressed the same, confidently spoke, and said the same things. Everyone thought that the man seem authoritative and confident. Everyone thought the woman was a bitch.
It is not just men that thought she was a bitch, but women too. Especially women. We are so goddamn hard on other women. Why? We get competitive with the women because we don’t even think there is a chance to compete with the males.
2. We are anatomically different.
No, our brains are not smaller.
What I am talking about is our boobs of course! Or more precisely the titty-suckers that dangle from our boobs.
My sister often says it is impossible to be a rockstar anything as a mother unless someone else basically raises your child for you. I have heard that it takes some women 40 minutes to breastfeed. Well, if your newborn needs to eat every two hours that is not a lot of time in between. How can you get anything done much less excel in your field? Sure, men have to make sacrifices too when they decide to have a child, like . . . you know . . . there are a few things I’m sure. Like not being able to have sex as much. That’s something right? And they can’t buy as many stupid things like a new car every year. Seriously though, for women there is the constant reminder that you will eventually have to choose career over family. That’s why so many women have children late now like when they are 40. They do all the stuff they want to do like career and travel and then they finally bite the bullet and get knocked up. But that is also depressing. Like they want to live their life and then have children . . . because when you have children you are not living anymore and you are dead inside. At least that’s how they make it sound. Let’s not get me started on having children, we will be here all day.
3) We settle comfortably in our pre-determined roles even if we don’t realize it.
Sometimes I feel punished for being a good worker. With design work, I am doing a lot of tweaking and editing and basically polishing everything. This is what I call grunt work. It is boring and you do not get to do any of the actual designing. For some reason men always do the fun parts. In actuality they are more sloppy. They are more cocky and don’t second guess their ideas so they get to design. What does this have to do with being a woman? Well that’s how I see a lot of the positions women end up doing.
Here is a list of the top 10 women’s jobs in 1950:
1. Secretaries, typists, stenographers
2. Saleswoman, retail trade
3. Teachers
4. Operatives-apparel, accessories
5. Bookkeepers
6. Waitresses
7. Nurses
8. Telephone operators
9. Retail managers
10. Farm laborers (unpaid family workers)
*According to U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics
Here is a list of the top 10 women’s jobs in 2010:
1. Secretaries, administrative assistants
2. Nurses
3. Teachers
4. Cashiers
5. Retail salespersons
6. Nursing, psychiatric, and home health aides
7. Waitresses
8. Retail managers
9. Customer service representatives
10. Maids and housekeeping cleaners
*According to U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics
They are almost exactly the same, just the order is slightly different. We scoff at the obvious difference in gender roles in shows like Mad Men or actual shows from the 50’s and 60’s, but have things really changed that much?
Partial sidenote: Don’t ever give me that crap about women being better at English because they are more emotional and men being better that math and science because they are more analytical. It is purely purely societal. My siblings, including my sister and brother, and I all excelled in math and hated english. Why? Both our parents much more preferred math over english. This is not a coincidence. If women do not do as well in math it is because we are not expected to do as well in math.
A lot of these jobs are bookkeeping and secretary work. I’m not saying these are easy jobs. It’s just the opposite. Basically, you have to have an obscene attention to detail for most of them, but they are menial and repetitive. Men just like to say women are naturally more clean or naturally better at paying attention to details. It is kind of like a back-handed compliment. You’re better at doing the dishes so you can do them. Nobody is naturally clean or is naturally good at doing the dishes. Women end up being good at them because they have no other choice. Most people like things clean. Nobody likes to clean. What I am saying is that women do these jobs because nobody else wants to. Then we are told we are naturally better at them so that we keep doing them. And we do!
So what does all this mean? How do we change this? Well the first and foremost is recognizing this problem. If we just ignore it and pretend we are all equal it will not change anything. The second is be direct. If you beat around the bush, or pussyfoot if you will, nobody is going to take you seriously. This has to do with talking to coworkers and presenting ideas. If you are blunt, sure people might call you a bitch but who cares? Just don’t be mean for no reason. I had one boss who was a woman, and I marveled at how good she was at being in charge and professional, yet not for one second ooze any bitchiness. She was so direct and never dwelled on mistakes whether they were mine or her own. In the cubicle life, I would frequently hear nearby female neighbors bitch all the time about why this person messed this up or how annoying this person was. This boss only focused on how to fix problems and didn’t waste time finding someone to blame. So there is hope.
Okay how many sexual double entendres did you catch in this article? Speaking of genitalia think about the words pussy, pussyfoot, and cocky. When you call someone a pussy which is slang for vagina, you are saying they are scared of things. Or when you pussyfoot it means you are dancing around the problem and not solving it. When you are cocky (whereas cock is slang for penis) you are over confident. Even our genitals have it in for us!
women shoot themselves in the foot by being passive aggressive, enabling,and wanting everyone to like them- I am a nurse and once I suggested that if the RN’s, many of whom had their BSN, would quit organizing pot lucks and decorating for holidays, they might be taken more seriously as professionals. Good points – an uphill battle. Men dominate meetings, and work environments and don’t feel the need to get personal with their colleagues, at least not as personal as women.
Interesting points you make here. But why can’t women get to know their colleagues and be professional? Or is it not possible to do both? Maybe “getting to know their colleagues” is considered more feminine and therefore is not respected. Or maybe it is just better to keep your distance so people don’t have their feelings personally hurt. I’m not disagreeing with you, merely thinking out loud.
Thanks for the comment!
“women shoot themselves in the foot by being passive aggressive, enabling,and wanting everyone to like them”
You just shot your credibility in the foot with your overt sexism.
I’m gonna have to go ahead and disagree with everything you said. The architecture of the brain is mostly the same between the sexes, the innate skill set difference is slight, on average. The limbic systems interacts with the brain pretty differently. Oxytocin, released when we form strong social bonds like during child birth, breastfeeding and sexual climax, is effectively reinforced by estrogen.
Men enjoy standing out, being extreme, showing our feathers. Seems like that’s what women find attractive (not like my single ass knows). Conversely what do men find attractive? I read somewhere that a Muslim man’s ideal wife is obscene but silent. Maybe our cultures aren’t so different.
I’m going to have to go ahead and disagree with your disagreement, you anonymous person you. I think you should clarify. It sounds like you are saying that having a baby makes women stupider and they deserve to make less than men for doing the same job. What’s wrong with estrogen? Does more of it make us inherently less successful? And what about women that do not have orgasms, babies, or breastfeed? Are they less womanly and more successful? Sure men enjoy standing out, but don’t women too? Everyone wants to stand out. And maybe men do want as Ludacris says “a lady in the street and a freak in the bed.” I know it is very very surprising, but women don’t live their lives with the goal to attract men. We do that without trying at all. So if we are “silent” or more passive, I believe society (like Muslim society) shapes us as such. You better watch your ass bro, because your seemingly misogynistic comments will keep your “single ass” single for a long time.
I think Mitchell and Webb sums it up best:
You said the brain sizes between genders is the same. I am saying while that may be true (its not, but it doesn’t relate to intelligence anyway) the way our hormones interact with our brains is remarkablely different and it affects every aspect of our mentality. The fact that women get paid less is horrible. Much worse is that single mothers get paid less and don’t get paid more, and things
Ugh, trying to rant on a phone… Any way continued from below: its terrible that single mothers get paid less and things get even bleaker when you look at the stats for single mothers that aren’t white. I’m not sure why women are bad at everything, maybe a solution is stronger female role models. As usual I am pointing my finger at female celebrities. Or celebrities in general. Or maybe our culture that idolizes them?
Not your brother sounds so confident and assertive. Ssmurphy it seems you’re just not saying what you want, what you really really want.
Also, maybe our differing perceptions of men and women in power has to do with the roles of our parents. Also there are a lot of women on jeopardy and they do quite well, although I do agree men play the ring-before-im-sure-i-know-it tactic more often. Men are more comfortable taking a risk, maybe why you see so many more homeless men, and that might be part of why men occupy the economic extremes. Also, don’t underestimate the power of gay men. From Alan Turing to Alexander McQueen, they are genius and revolutionary.
Also, you are probably kidding when you say you disagree with everything I just said, but I don’t see where you actually disagree with me.
I see what you are saying. But I tend to not buy the blaming celebrities or models of things. They are a response to American demand. They are popular because the public makes them so. And the power of the gay men is super strong, I’ve watched enough HGTV to know this.
I was going to participate in this conversation earlier, but I got nervous….did you see the Spice Girls in the Olympic Closing Ceremonies. Sexy, no?
Actually yes! It was like the best part of the closing ceremony, I was shocked. I was especially offended by that hobag shitting all over the Queen song. They didn’t even play “we are the champions!” I wish they just kept Freddy Mercury singing on the screen the whole time.
This is going off of some old data…I don’t think people really see the issue through this lens anymore.
Women have generally equal abilities and skills; men….most of them are average but some dramatically outpace the others. There is a significantly higher number of male geniuses than female, even if the average female is marginally more intelligent than the average male. Thus, if you look at areas of exceptional achievement, they will always be dominated by men. That doesn’t mean men are on top and women are on bottom. It means 10% of men are on top, 100% of women are in the middle, and 90% of men are on bottom. Don’t exactly see many female garbagemen or homeless people, do you?
And as for the wage gap stuff….come on now, lol. You know that’s a fallacious argument in the first place.
Thanks for the comment!
So I guess first off is, do you have a point or did you just feel like arguing with everything I said?
In any case, going off some old data? What is the old data you are referring to?
So you are saying that since there are significantly more male geniuses than female, women deserve to not be in high-powered roles because they are genetically less superior than men? Wow, did you get here from 100 years ago? If so, can I borrow your time machine? Besides, when you get into extremely high-powered roles, CEOs in such, confidence is as important as intelligence. Which is the point I’m trying to make; women lack the former, NOT the latter. And where are your percentages coming from? Maybe the top few percent are men, men and women are jumbled in the middle and the bottom few percent are men. This again proves my point that if men fall, they fall hard because their egos get the best of them. You don’t see many female homeless people but do you do see a few. And you see a shit ton of women prostitutes. Basically the shittier female version of homeless. And I’m not sure where you are from but a garbage man is good position! They are unionized, have great benefits, and make 40K a year starting.
I am surprised that you say the wage gap is fallacious. Are you kidding? This has been proved many times over. It’s not even a question of if, it is a question of why. It’s confusing, are you sticking up for women or saying that you think they deserve less-powerful roles then men?
In any case, I very much appreciate your comment. It exemplifies why this is still so much of a problem. Like I said, the first step is to recognize the problem. You, it seems, would much rather pretend that there is not a problem and make the outrageous implication that men are naturally just geniuses and women are SOL.
Also, it is interesting that the only people who disagree with me are men. Does my post offend you? I was worried it would offend women, not men. Though I guess I do call men cocky. But you did write this cocky-ass comment so…
You didn’t actually expect to change my mind, did you?
Correlation is not causation
http://www.forbes.com/sites/realspin/2012/04/16/its-time-that-we-end-the-equal-pay-myth/
Interesting article, albeit offensive. She has little proof supporting her arguments and is simply making assumptions. She implies that women are basically choosing to take shittier work and therefore it is their fault that they have a lower income. It is true that the wage gap is exaggerated – the whole 77 cents to a dollar myth is not taking into consideration different types of work. However, there is still a wage gap. I assumed somebody would call me on this which is why I linked this article http://social.dol.gov/blog/myth-busting-the-pay-gap/ in that paragraph.
Either way, my point is that it is a problem that women are taking lower-paying work than men.
The Forbes article also brings up a point that is very important and that I discussed:
“Unsurprisingly, children play an important role in men and women’s work-life decisions. Simply put, women who have children or plan to have children tend to be willing to trade higher pay for more kid-friendly positions. In contrast, men with children typically seek to earn more money in order to support children, sometimes taking on more hours and less attractive positions to do so.”
In the same vein, simply because cocky and cock are similar does not mean that one is derived from the other. In fact, both come from an earlier root word. Our English has much older and more practical foundations than sexism.
“The word appears to be of Germanic origin. The original meaning was “a male bird”. The term was later applied to aggressive people because of the similarity of behavior to the fighting birds.”
Um, that’s nice. Thanks for the etymology lesson.
If you think there is no correlation between cocky and cock…well you are in denial. And I’m sorry, but who the fuck cares?
As for men being better at math and girls at English or, men having more jobs in the science/engineering field: simply saying that reasons are not genetic does not imply that they therefore must be societal or cultural.
You re right about half of it, but you’re still creating a false dichotomy to suit your point. It’s unnecessary. Disproving one theory ( though I’ll add here that you didn’t actually disprove anything) does not prove another, atleast not scientifically.
http://munews.missouri.edu/news-releases/2012/0118-“women-worse-at-math-than-men”-explanation-scientifically-incorrect-mu-researchers-say/
I’m not trying to prove or disprove anything. And I thought it was not possible to disprove a theory, only prove it. In any case, I am curious, if the reasons are not genetic and not societal or cultural, then what else could they be?
Interesting article, obviously there is a lot more to learn about this myth. Besides, it exactly supports my opinion. Women are told they are worse at math then men, so they do not do as well and do not pursue related professions (as much as men). This is precisely the problem.
No, a theory is disprovable. Otherwise, every theory would either be true or you would be trying to prove it your whole life.
One more thing I would add. If anyone if more concerned about being a “rock star” than being fulfilled genuinely by loving others, then they need to reevaluate what it is they are trying to attain. Validation is an addiction. Those “cocky” men in business meetings are no more cooler to me than the frat kid with a visor and a bong. They are jokes, and women, particularly feminists, I have always thought of as being above such pissing contests. Thus the term “fairer” sex, but what do I know… Maybe I’m just as disillusioned and sexist.
I wouldn’t say you are being disillusioned and sexist. I would say cocky and sexist. When I say “cocky” I don’t only mean those business men in suits. I mean many men. Men like you who argue with women about their experiences as women. For some reason you felt the need to argue with many of my minute points though I really am not sure if you disagree with my arguments as a whole. I’m not even saying being cocky is bad. Maybe cocky is not the right word – confident. This is what women should exercise, not what men should suppress.
And I’m sorry but “fairer” sex is just a bullshit offensive term. It pretends to praise women when it is really just putting us down. It implies that we are more gentle, unlike our male shark counterparts.
Again, my whole point is for especially men to recognize this problem. I am saying that by men like you, trying to brush it under the rug, are making it worse by doing so.
I do not mean to be a bitch but if you give me some shit, I assuming you expect some back, right?
In any case, I truly appreciate your time and interest in my article. You brought up some good points and interesting links.
Forgive me, my intention was not to nit-pick, and it wasn’t to be contrary for no reason. I just found the article interesting, but where it seems to fail, and where, for me atleast, feminism seems to fall on deaf ears is when it comes to making points about small things like cocky and pussy foot, and then tries to tie them to statistics on wage gaps. I understand how it can be very personal. After all, I’m not a woman, but the very fact that sexism exist also cheapens my life as a man. Sexism cheapens us both, and we are both affected by it, though obviously not on the same level at all. Please dont assume that just cause im a man that cant empathize and im arrogant.I really only wanted to make you think as you made me think.
I don’t think sexism cheapens your life as a man at all. Or a woman’s for that matter. It is just important to me that men and women recognize that there is a societal difference placed upon us. I do appreciate your empathy and I do not assume all men are arrogant. I love defending my points, obviously, and I just hate when people try to claim that there is no gender disparity in the workplace.
All of our articles here are presented with humor (see “Peeing with Strangers”) though it may not always come across that way. I feel my angry feminist rant is less likely to fall on deaf ears if I poke fun, though maybe not. I do like to back up my outrageous claims with articles so people can see how I am formulating my opinions.
I was not being sarcastic when I said I appreciated your time and interest. I love when people comment on my posts, especially if they do not wholly agree with me. Like I said, you bring up some interesting points and my intention is to spark open discussion. If not, I would have simply not approved your comment. Thank you again for your interest and I hope you keep reading!
One thing – this is a general argument.
Now. I think that the reason women are “bad at everything” is because they were born ready to be the best at the thing they often don’t even try to be: a mother. You said they “don’t have time to be a rockstar at anything” as a mother, but, if you ask me, one of the very greatest gifts you can bring to the world is a child with a rockstar mother. You don’t HAVE to go be great at a job, or a first to do whatever. That is a man’s job. You have to be there for a little girl or boy, going on adventures with them, playing with them, but also feeding them and taking care of their needs. The man in the family also has a job, he doesn’t get off easy. He works for the family and consoles his children. It ain’t sexism. It’s chivalry. Just look: women were made to have children and take care of them. Men were made to be there for all of them. It is shown not only in the body and how both genders are made, but also in how the majority act. There isn’t any point denying it: women ARE gentler than men. Even their BODIES can tell you that. But that is definitely not a bad thing. Don’t you see it? Women are MADE FOR THE JOB. IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL JOB IN THE WHOLE WORLD, BEING A PARENT. Yes. Motherhood IS a sacrifice. But that raises my respect for women who are mothers everywhere. My argument is not “sexist” (which basically just means I offended a woman). IT’S FREAKING MORALITY!
Everyone shut da hell up! Who cares? Women are women and men are men… So what? I think we are forgetting everyone is a human being so maybe if we just helped each other instead of it being an epic battle menVSwomen we could all live a happy non offended life!… YAAAY!